Stop Comparing Your Marriage to Others - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - September 16

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Stop Comparing Your Marriage to Others

By: Vivian Bricker

"We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise." (2 Corinthians 10:12)

Married couples tend to compare their marriages to their friends' and families' marriages. Even though we are often cautioned against this, suffering from the game of comparison is all too common. A simple scroll on social media makes our own marriage and life feel inferior. We reason that other people's marriages are better, making them happier people.

Due to this comparison, we start thinking badly of ourselves and our spouse. Rather than falling down this rabbit hole, we need to stop comparison in its tracks. Comparison does nothing to help us or build up our marriage; it only tears it down. God doesn't want this to happen to our marriage because He knows the damage it can cause.

Marriage was created by God (Genesis 2:24). Therefore, we can trust in the knowledge that He knows what is best. Since God wants us to steer clear of comparison, then this is what we must do. Rather than comparing ourselves to others, we need to be thankful for the marriage God has blessed us with. Take a few moments to think about your spouse, all they do for you, and how much you love them.

This simple exercise can help us stop comparing our marriage or our spouse to others. The marriage God has blessed you with is unique to you. It was never meant to be compared to others. Comparison is truly the thief of joy, as it will only bring you and your spouse down.

Think about the last time you made a comparison of your marriage out loud to your spouse. Maybe you noticed that it made your husband or wife upset. Take note of this because constant comparisons will hurt your spouse's feelings. They will believe they are not good enough and with time, they might believe you don't want to be with them.

Comparing your spouse to someone else's spouse will only lead to trouble. Don't make statements such as, "You should be more like (fill in the blank)" or "Why don't you take me on vacations like (fill in the blank) does?" These remarks will only hurt your spouse and cause them to question their worth. You might think the comparison game is only hurting yourself, but it is hurting your spouse, too.

The Bible tells us, "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise" (2 Corinthians 10:12). The Apostle Paul says here that we don't need to classify or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. Since they measure and compare themselves by themselves, then they are not wise.

This is a weighty teaching that we don't need to overlook. As Paul says, it is not wise to measure or compare ourselves to others. If we continue with the comparison game, we will only cause problems and have turmoil in our hearts. Unfortunately, many marriages can end over a constant comparison battle with other couples.

As believers, we need to leave comparison in the past. It does not benefit our marriage or enrich our life in the Lord. Jesus doesn't want us to feed into something that is causing our marriage to suffer. Choose to change the narrative today. Each time you are tempted to compare your marriage or your spouse to someone else's marriage or spouse, stop yourself, think about the Lord, and reflect on your spouse.

Ask Yourself:

• Would Jesus approve of this action?
• Will these words hurt my spouse?
• Why am I choosing to compare my marriage and spouse to other people anyway?

By answering these questions, we will be able to move past comparison and start focusing on the things that truly matter. We will also spare any more pain on our spouse. God wants our marriage to grow and bring glory to Him. We can start bringing our marriage glory to God by giving up comparison and truly loving our spouse.

Let's Pray:

"Dear God, I'm sorry for playing the comparison game for so long. I don't want to compare my marriage or my spouse to anyone else ever again. Turn my heart back to You whenever I'm struggling and help me remember how blessed I am to have my spouse. Thank You, Amen."

Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/. 

Related Resource: 3 Simple Ways to Feed Your Spouse More Praise

How often do you intentionally stop to praise your spouse? To recognize and affirm their character or actions? Many of us probably cringe at answering these questions because we know we could do better! If you struggle to feed your spouse praise regularly, this episode is for you. Listen in as we share some practical steps we all can take to criticize less and affirm and build up our spouse more. If this episode helps your marriage, be sure to subscribe to Team Us on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.